英文简历中避讳的话

2008年12月03日 | 查看: 2917次 |
致命的大错
  
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." 
  
"Qualifications: No education or experience." 
  
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." 
  
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age." 
  
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." 
  
"Fired because I fought for lower pay." 
  
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" . 
  
"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." 
  
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." 
  
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately." 

  打字错误与语法错误 
  
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." 
  
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." 
  
"I am a rabid typist." 
  
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981." 
  
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to      pursue a new line of work." 
  
"Accounting cleric." 
  
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." 
  
"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments." 
  
"Suspected to graduate early next year." 
  
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." 
  
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors." 
  
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." 
  
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." 
  
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school." 

  不应有的幽默 
  
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house." 
  
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) 
  
"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature." 
  
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 
  
"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular." 
  
"Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series." 
  
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it." 
  
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks." 
  
"Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience." 
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